It's the year of the pig, or I guess - "Jamon" (Ham) in Spanish.
Looking back at the year of the dog, I have to wonder -- am I expecting too much from life?
2018 was a rough year, full of changes and uncertainties and fears.
I left my job in Boston to go to China.
I went to Japan, the land of my childhood, and discovered that things look different when you are older, than when you were 10.
I went back to America, to study, to pass those ARE exams I had failed a year before.
I interviewed in Chelsea and Wall Street, in New York City.
I started a new job in New York.
I traveled through Spain.
Throughout all this, I'm still trying to figure out what I am supposed to do with my time, because it is STILL not clear yet.
Have I become a more mature person, but a worse designer? Or have my priorities just changed?
Have I become more quiet, or just a worse person in general?
Am I EVEN that competent a person?
There's so much more I need to learn about design, or business, or just simple social situations.
What does 2019 have in store for me?
A year ago, I had thought that going to China was what I needed to do. But I learned, very quickly, that there is a steep learning curve to foreign business negotiations. Then, I thought that working in New York would give me some answers. But I've now found out -- it's just a job. Nobody cares - only you care about yourself, so look after yourself first.
So what do I really care about?
1) Having some space to think.
2) Making ideas clear.
3) Having a small, dedicated group of friends, that I can count on.
4) Being able to surprise and dazzle people.
5) Be paid to dream a little - because what's the point of anything, if you are not working towards an alluring vision.
6) Writing stories - something to get people excited, to throw them off their routine, to make them wonder a little.
I also learned that, being unemployed is really tough, but not unmanageable. I learned that, I COULD do stand-up comedy, if I really tried to get good at it. I learned that, I like branding, and I like making pitches and proposals. I like communicating with people - just not through conventional conversations. I like communicating with them through presentations, speeches, drawings, stories, stand-up acts, etc.
This much is clear: I am not where I want to be. There is much room for improvement.
Hopefully there is some future gig out there that will let me do the things I love, and then some.
Happy Jamon Year.